My Struggle, Part II

Yep, my G, my George. My favorite little man. He discovered this empty drawer the other week and thought it would be handy in trying to climb up to the countertop. It got him a little closer, but not close enough, thank goodness.

But, as you probably guessed, this post really has nothing to do with G.

If you read my very long blog post back here where I chronicled my journey with weight issues, you’re ready for part 2. If you haven’t, click on over and check it out and then come back. I’ll wait. Or don’t read it. That’s fine too.

Writing that blog post really seemed to kick off a new drive in me to get into working out and lose this weight! It felt like I had some kind of accountability going on with my readers.

By the way, those of you who commented on that post- Thank-you! There was so much encouragement and those comments were such a huge blessing! You have no idea. Seriously.

So anyways, I got to working out- either walking or doing a dance routine (yes, I broke down and bought another workout DVD) or both- every single day. I tracked every bit of food that went in my mouth, the calories, grams of protein, etc. I didn’t really change what I was eating too much, just kept better track of it. I found that I was consuming roughly 1500 calories a day- just enough for my body not go into starvation mode. I ate fresh stuff- my veggies and fruit. Yeah, I was doing pretty good.

And I gained 10 pounds. Ummmmm, ok, yeah, that was not in the program, thank-you very much. I’m sure part of it had to do with the fact that I was working out more and was building muscle, but 10 pounds?! Are you serious? I was not a happy camper, particularly when, as the weeks passed and I kept doing things right, nothing changed. I was not losing pounds or inches.

So I got depressed about it. Like really, actually depressed. I cried about it at least once every single day. I cried when I read a blog or a Facebook status about some other mommy losing weight and/or getting back to her pre-baby weight. At not just tearing up- sobbing. Yeah, it was not cool. It was hard. I prayed a lot, just asking why. Why do I have to struggle? What am I doing wrong? Why, why, why?!

Here I have to back up a little bit and mention how several people commented, emailed, etc. suggesting that I look into getting my thyroid checked. Which planted a seed in my mind. I honestly didn’t really think that I had thyroid problems. I felt like I was just plain lazy and wasn’t working hard enough to lose weight. Like I didn’t want it enough. But the idea was in the back of my mind. Never mind that besides having a really hard time losing weight, I had several symptoms, including thin, brittle, falling-out hair, cold hands and feet, etc. But I didn’t think I had a basal body temperature that was consistently below 97.5 degrees. In fact, one day, just to show myself that there was no way my weight loss problems had nothing to do with thyroid problems, I took my temperature. In the middle of the day. In the middle of washing dishes. Ha! If you know anything about basal body temps, you know that you need to take your temperature as soon as you wake up in the morning, before you make one twitch, before you even breathe. Ok, not quite, but pretty much. So yeah, the taking-my-temp-in-the-middle-of-the-day thing was not my basal temperature. And I knew that. I was just being lame for some reason.

But I kept forgetting to take my temperature in the morning before I got up and so, continued to feel depressed and lazy because I wasn’t losing weight. Not that having a low body basal temperature is the only symptom of an underactive thyroid, but in my mind it seemed like a big one. Don’t know why, it just did. I think I felt like I didn’t deserve to have any kind of excuse for being fat.

Then yesterday I found some old fertility charts from about a year ago where I had successfully tracked my basal temps for several months. And, of course, those charts showed quite clearly that my basal body temps were consistently in the low 97s! In fact, I’d had to alter the entire chart (I printed it off the internet) to be able to chart my lower-than-average temps. Something clicked in my mind and I seriously almost fell over and then felt like jumping up and down- I have hypothyroidism! I have an underactive thyroid! I think I can FIX this! Thank-you JESUS!

And now. Now I’m getting used to the idea of hope. And relief. And an I-can-do-it kind of feeling. I don’t feel totally helpless anymore. And it feels awesome!

I’m going to be getting some natural supplements that a Facebook friend told me really helped her and I’m going to balance the ol’ thyroid right back out. And I’m going to keep working out and eating right. And I’m going to kick this thing. Right where it hurts.

I don’t think I’m going to go and get “officially” diagnosed by a doctor, simply because the test that is done is often wrong, from what I’m reading and I figure, what’s the point? Besides, if I can treat this thing naturally, without getting a prescription, you know I’m all over that. Rather, my wallet’s all over that.

So yes, I feel like a whole new lease on life as far as the weight loss thing. *does happy dance* Hopefully I will be able to keep blogging and journalling and letting you all know of my success now that I’ve got this thing figured out!